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| Au Pair Year in New England  I wanted to improve my English skills and asked myself why I should not apply for an Au Pair Year. At University, I studied to become a teacher, I had experience with babysitting and I had gone to summer camps with teenagers and younger kids. At first, I worried about my age; I was 24 already. Luckily, my age was no problem and I was not the only one over 19. The whole preparation for my Au Pair stay and the application process took about half a year. After I had handed in all necessary papers, my organization invited me to a first meeting. Several other girls and I received a lot of information and one ex-Au Pair told us her story. They also checked our level of the English language. Then, the period of matching began. What is matching? American families pick you, call you and decide if they want to spend the year with you. I had three families on the phone and I felt most comfortable with the last one that I talked to. The children I would have to care for were two and three years old. When I went through the family’s paperwork, I wondered where Vermont could be located. I had never actually heard of this place before and learned that it is one of the six New England States. I talked to Ingrid, the mother, and we were on the phone for about 45 minutes. Even though I actually did not want to live in a rural area, I made the decision to become their Au Pair. Thus, I knew my host family almost four months before my time as an Au Pair should begin, and I was very excited. I left Germany in early September. During the whole flight, which took eight hours, I could neither sleep nor do anything else but think of the arrival at Newark Airport close to New York City. I talked to the other Au Pairs from Germany and I could not wait to be in the country I had wished to visit for so long. I was awake when we prepared for landing and very surprised about the fact that the first thing we saw in the USA was the Swedish company IKEA: yellow capital letters on a blue ground. As we landed, we did not get to see the Statue of Liberty as I had hoped. Instead, we saw a lot of industry that was hiding in the suburbs of NYC. There were smokestacks pointing towards the sky, cranes reaching out their arms for work and everything was covered by the gray of metal. Cars made their way through the gray suburbs, moving towards the colorful downtown area. The reality and my expectations of the “Land without Boundaries” did not seem to match, which made me feel uncomfortable. I longed to see the pictures evoked by the media, and the reality took me by surprise. A bus came to pick us up at the airport, and we went on our first short trip on an American highway. We were welcomed at our Au Pair school on Long Island, saw our rooms and were directed to the cafeteria for lunch. Our first meal was typically American, but completely foreign to us. It was strange to try American white bread for the first time. It felt like chewing on cardboard; no nutrition no carbohydrates. After one week of preparation, we were sent to our families. With a very small plane, another Au Pair and I flew to Burlington International Airport. The flight took quite a long time because we were not very high up in the air and we were able to view the countryside. I could not believe that I would live in the greenest place I had ever seen for the following year. After our arrival, I waited for Ingrid. I was afraid I would not recognize her from the pictures. She came with her youngest, Silas, who was two years and some months old, and picked me up. It was a weird feeling to be with people I had never met before, and Silas was too shy to say something. Instead, he stared at me and did not know what to do. But at least, I felt comfortable in their presence. Ingrid seemed to be nice. She tried to talk to me and described the landscape that we were going through, but because of my lack of language we more or less drove to the house in silence. We went up the hill and down the hill, and I lost my sense of orientation pretty soon. I could smell the cows, and felt as if I was far from any semblance of civilization. I soon met the family. The boys, Eben and Silas, did not know what to do with me and I felt like a complete stranger. On the first day, my local coordinator from the Au Pair organization as well as her Au Pair came to visit. Over the first two weeks, Ingrid introduced me to the household, to my duties and to the family members nearby. I would have an eight to five o’clock day. Silas remained kind of a shy guy, but was very cute. It was a whole other story with Eben. The boys kept saying that I should leave, probably because they missed their mother during the day. The first few months were particularly difficult. I thought about switching families, but I stayed because I felt I should accept the challenge. In the end, it was really worth it as I really got to know the kids and learned to understand them. We became as close as we could possibly become. We spent the whole day together everyday: We had breakfast together, lunch, nap time and the afternoon. I enjoyed it, although I usually felt relieved when I was done with work in the evening. Both kids are the best, and I am so happy that I got to know them. The 26th of January should become a memorable day during my Au Pair year. I remember the exact date because I marked it in my calendar. It was a crucial moment. I had always felt that Eben had to make the decision and had shown respect for his feelings. It was up to him to decide when it was time to accept me in his life. I had tried to give him as much warmth as I had for Silas, but still, an invisible border had remained. On that day, however, after the nightly reading session and before he fell asleep, he hugged me and asked for a goodnight kiss. The relationship between us grew stronger, even though there were still moments when he only wanted his mommy. It got better from month to month as I figured out how to work with the whole family. Apart from the time I spent with them, I established a private life. My everyday life was like that of most Americans. I got up in the morning, worked during the day and did some stuff with friends in my spare time. We also had an Au Pair meeting once a month. We usually met to do something special: crafts, yoga, self-defense, or we went hiking. In Vermont, I lived the life I had always wanted to live. I worked, had fun and met people I liked. I went to the movie theater, went hiking and swimming, attended birthday parties with the kids and shared a normal family life. The kids came first; after them came family and friends. I realized how it would be to have children of my own. You develop a sense of motherhood when you are around kids so much, even if they are not your own. You feel sad when they are sad, you feel happy when they are happy, and if you are feeling sad sometimes, they have the ability to make you feel happy. The situation as an Au Pair provided a first insight into a fulfilled life. I now knew that I wanted to have kids of my own! I had not felt that way before as I had always been afraid of the responsibility. In Vermont, however, I realized how much children mean to me. They can be the cherry on the cake. When I came back to Germany, the culture shock was worse than the one I had experienced going abroad. It was harder for me to readjust to Berlin than to arrive in New England. I felt depressed and did not know why. I wanted to be back in the States and could not get along with the people here. Everyone sounded stupid to me and I did not want to be surrounded by Germans, who only reminded me of the fact that I was far away from Vermont. I was unhappy and I tried everything to distract myself. Nothing helped. Back in my life as a university student, I had a schedule, I had things to do, and besides, I desperately had to find a job. I missed everything, and most of all I missed the kids. They would grow up too soon. It makes me happy that the family and I kept in touch: I write postcards, send Christmas and birthday presents, and I visited the family last summer. I do not want to lose sight of them ever. After the year in Vermont, one thing proved right: If you treat young kids like normal people, they will be the best kids you could ever wish for. You have to respect their lives and their feelings. I could fill pages and pages with all the memories of the whole year. But I have one last thing to say to all who want to go abroad: Every step you take in another world is worth it as you will gain important experiences. If you want to go abroad, you should take the chance. If you do not take it, you may regret it later. Maria Borowski, 27, lives in Berlin and studied History and German to take up a teaching profession. She gives private lessons and teaches German as a foreign language. She plans to do her doctorate in the United States. itchy feet Nr.5, Ausgabe 2008 |
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